Winter Came

Flinders Street Train Station, Melbourne

Grey clouds and raindrops welcomed the first day of winter here in Melbourne. It was a rather gloomy day for a first day of things. It was my first time visiting the city since February, the month when Covid-19 started to break out in this part of the world.

One season have past since I last rode a train. It’s funny how quickly time goes by and nothing pretty much happened in my life, except the fact that I’ve been laid off of work due to the pandemic. Other than that, nothing remarkable happened, I mean in my life. But surely there were memorable things for the people around me. I think that it’s pretty much the same for mostly everyone especially for those in the quarantine. It seemed like life just jumped off from one point of the time line to another. However in these times we were able to think about and see things deeply. I saw the people who cannot afford to buy food because they lost their jobs. I saw that economy is more important than people’s lives. I saw leaders from around the globe who silence and lead their people to death. I saw those who are discriminated by their colors, physical appearance, social status, education, and genders. I saw them and how they are treated and it breaks my heart. I wonder if we are becoming less and less of a human as time goes by. Are we suppose to evolve backwards in terms of our treatment to each other? Are we really choosing that path? I am afraid. Afraid that this will be the kind of world that my kids will grow up into.

Winter came and it will come again. I wonder if it will be the same. I wonder if it will be better.

Left Behind

You told me you’ll stay
That you will be there
When the skies get mad
When the oceans cry

You told me you will be happy
Even when the flowers wither
Or when the leaves fly away
Or when the soil decided to be alone

You told me you’ll never look away
That you’ll capture everything
May it be the sun peeking to say hi
Or when it blushes while saying goodbye

But now all I can see is you
Trying to force the tears back
To those dim sphere crystals of yours
Which were once glittering pair of gems

I can see you looking anywhere but here
Escaping the gaze you once hold dear
Staying silent while I wait for your voice
Expecting the words I never thought I would hear

I am looking now at your broad back
Your arms as they sway back and forth
Your feet as they shakily taking another step
Going further and further from where I stand.

Chasing Your Dreams

Dream – a verb and a noun. One word that makes everything different. One word that changes the way of one’s life. One word that gives hope to a person. One word that brings sunshine to people’s faces. And the word that push you and me to finish the race that we have started.

“What are your dreams?”

This is one of the frequently asked questions when we were in grade school. Back then, it was difficult for me to answer this question even if I was one of the above average students. It was not that I did not know its meaning, maybe, just maybe, it is because I was not able to fully understand what it really was. Time flew by and there I was in high school, joining math quiz bee, science quiz bee, and other bees that one can think of. But still, I cannot figure out what really are my dreams. Two years have passed and I began thinking of how great it was to try things that are way out of my league. I began dreaming about travelling around the world and learn things that cannot be learned in school. I began aprreciating what my parents are doing for us siblings, and I long for that kind of love. Then at that time, there was a voice that shouted “Eureka!” in my head. Like a bulb that was abruptly turned on, I have all these crazy ideas that circling around me. I started talking to myself about how great it will be to have a husband that I will fall in love with everyday of my life, and children whom I will share my love with for the rest of my life. I thought about having all the moments being captured and developed and be a memory for me, my daughter, my granddaughter and for all of my generations. I brainstormed about saving money to build a restaurant for my beloved parents and brother who love to cook. I thought of going to places I have never been before. I had all these things packed in my mind at that moment. No more sound was heard around me. It seems like everything became still and it was only me, and my dreams.

Years flew by and things are never the same. I am in college now, blessed to be accepted in a prestigious university. It is not easy, and it never was. I already have several failed subjects, and these made me cry, made my mother cry. Money and other things become tight. Confidence is fading. Pace is slowing. I have always thought that something went wrong when I entered college, I always say ” I was once an honor student, what happened?” whenever I flunk in my subjects. But slowly and surely did I understand what these things mean. Yes, I understood that life is never fair, and it will always be difficult. But one thing that keeps me moving forward is the passion to chase those dreams. The dreams that might be difficult to achieve. The dreams that might make me bleed several times. The dreams that might be miles away. The dreams that I believe will happen in the right time. Yes, it is difficult, and it will always be. And I am having a hard time as a student but at the same time I am feeling great, and having a great time as well. Well, I am not that prepared of what might happen in the future but I guess I’ll wait for another adventure. I’ll wait for another heartbreaking results and for overwhelming experiences. I’ll wait and I’ll go through all the storms with hope and joy. Everything will always be worth it, it may bring me pain but it will also bring a once in a lifetime experience. As they always say, there is always a rainbow after the rain. So I always choose to stand up after falling down countless times, because I want to chase those dreams. I always believe that dreams do come true, and I learned that dreams become true when one works hard and puts his/her heart in it.It may always seem impossible, but I believe it will always be possible.

Dreams happen not at the end of the road, it happens along the way, and it keeps happening, it never ends. You work hard to achieve it and it will not stay same as the one you achived, it will grow, and it will lead you to another dream.You will chase it not out of greed or obligation, you will chase it out of love and joy. Chasing is not that bad after all, it gives us an unforgettable adventure and always offers us a challenge. So, are you going to start chasing now? 🙂